I demand to know right now, who picked the NFL Network’s slate of games this season? Picking games for Thursday Night Football has got to involve a bit of forecasting the good and the bad, right? Well, shouldn’t that person be fired or something? Don’t you want the best playing the best, or at least a matchup that gets you a little hot and bothered?

On the back of  Thursday’s L.A. Times sports section is a full-page color advertisement for the remaining TNF schedule. It’s hard not to feel bad for Rich Eisen and Co.

Want to hear it?

Week 14: Colts at Titans

Two teams that are bad for different reasons. The Colts have been suffocated by injury bugs all season long. And Peyton Manning can’t get out of his own way by reverting back to rookie form by way of the interception.

The Titans are mentally unhealthy all over the place. Vince Young, what a train-wreck! How does a team mismanage its franchise player so badly. And so much for Chris Johnson’s 2000 yards on the ground this season. That’s pure comedy. And don’t even get me started on Randy Moss.

Week 15: 49ers at Chargers

Troy Smith, Alex Smith, it really doesn’t matter which Smith starts under center for the Niners. No offense to those who bleed red and gold, but they both stink. The last time they were on national television, Frank Gore got lost–for the season. It you saw the game, it was almost as if he literally got lost. To make a long story short, Gore broke his hip, then went to the sidelines, then jogged into the locker room, then jogged back to the sidelines and proceeded to act as if he wanted to go in the game but not-for-long coach Singletary wouldn’t let him back in the game. Did he break his hip or suffer a concussion (#notsure).

That’s enough to ruin the entire game, no matter the opponent.

Week 16: Panthers at Steelers

This one confuses the hell out of me; I don’t remember anybody predicting the Panthers to be a good team this season. If I remember correctly they were supposed to win three, maybe four games. Why the national attention? Is Notre Dame taking over the NFL too? Jimmy Clausen isn’t even that good. Just ask Mel Kiper–only kidding.

Christmas Day Week 16: Cowboys vs. Cardinals

The Network was a year late on this one. Tony Romo vs. Kurt Warner would have been worth the price of admission. But Jon Kitna vs. ????????. Do we really need to assign a name to the dysfunction at quarterback. Anderson, Hall, Skelton–potato, potato, potato. That saying may not come through via text but that’s whats great about it. All three are potatoes.

As bad as I’ve made these games out to be, you’d better believe I’ll be watching with bells on.

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